"It is NOT your past or your circumstances that will determine your future...it is your attitude today and if you are prepared to do what needs to be done!
The truth is... the most successful person you can ever meet will feel feel unsure or lost at times...
The question is... do you have doubt...or does doubt 'have you'?"
Assuming we can succeed in life by just positive thinking and writing out goals is a very outdated method!
It is essential that we understand the deep inner workings of the mind and social interactions with out peers.
Yes it may take time...yes it may take effort...yes you may make mistakes along the way, but when you discover who you are the abilities and success you will enjoy far outweigh any investment!
Before founding his first training company in 2000, Paul Ryder was a personal fitness trainer since 1995 and has been a strategic intervention coach and trauma therapist since 2007.
As a successful coach, author and public speaker, Paul is on a continual journey to create a means for people to access learning tools and materials that will make a difference in all aspects of life, from emotional well-being, confidence building, social-psychology, conflict resolution, goal setting and building better relationships.
Paul has used and still regularly uses all of the methods which he now teaches that brought him from a place of fear and worry to the confidence to live a happy and fulfilling life. Paul has taken the learning and is on a continual journey to transform complex information of emotional intelligence such as guilt, fear, shame, self esteem and love into format which is easy to understand.
Where it all began (From Paul Ryder)
As you read this section please do not deem it as some ‘poor me’ story looking for attention through a plea of victim hood. Far from it, as the journey now has come full circle bringing with it confidence and self esteem.
For the first few years of my life it was as any healthy child’s life should be, fun and enjoyment! Although the turning point came, (and one which I genuinely see as something which helped me become who I am today) when I was about 8 years old where, due to my shy non confrontational personality at that time I started to have challenges with other children at school, which quickly developed in to bullying both emotionally and physical. For many years this continued because of not knowing what to do or having access to the right support and due to low self esteem, there was an element of shame that many people in this situation go through. So I kept my reality hidden.
This mindset soon spiraled leading to a live of avoiding anything and everything and becomming so depressed that I felt a complete burden to others, of no worth and feeling that the world would be a better place without me in it...suicidal thoughts haunted my daily life.
However I reached a point one day where I felt at a cross roads, tune out (end it all) or do something about it! I had been testing a trying many forms of therapy, non of which worked as they bound themselves by too many rules, though fortunately I met trainers who were prepared to do what needed to be done. They pushed me hard and taught me that although other people could support me, that only I can dig myself out of where I was.
Having these people believe in me was the key... then my life was a dedicated regime of: go to work, come home, exercise with a mixture of weight lifting, martial arts, cycling and running, backed up with constant reading of personal development books on stress management, social psychology, the mind, how to communicate and anything else I could get my hands on. I would cycle to work listening to the great authors and study continually the attitudes and mentalities of my chosen mentors. The more I studied the more determined I became. Although at that time I had a scrawny frame, no friends, no money and was still being bullied, I had an ever increasing fire to get to the life where I had great friends, happiness, love and abundance in my life. I wasn’t there yet but I vowed never to quit until I succeeded.
The journey was challenging, but as the phrase goes, “Quitters never win and winners never quit” Slowly and surely I created a cast iron foundation that has lead me to the life I lead today of freedom of thought and to love the person I am. Through my journey one of the valuable life changing lessons I learned was that peace comes not from overcoming every challenge but how we feel inside when facing those challenges.
The myth of a challenge free life
I remember a year or so ago when I was approached by a student on training workshop I was teaching and he said to me how it must be great to have such a peaceful life with no challenges, I smiled and said “yes your right, it would be, and if you get there before me, let me know how it feels” An ability to love who we are and have freedom of thought does not mean that life will be challenge free; the only people who do not have challenges are in the grave.
I wish you all the best on your journey